illness guilt
Oh the many things thrown at us like pebbles on a racing river, life with illness an ever changing river. The pain in the battle for diagnosis, the scars left behind from our years of battles, the flowers that bloom on our scars as we heal. Learning to take steps towards the life written in dreams dreamt for years. Pebble after pebble thrown in the raging river mark the journey played out behind. All of sudden a wave of guilt, a storm that creeped over the mountains not expected to roll in, disrupts the calm flow. Guilt for the mess, disaster left in the wake over years of hospitals, appointments and ambulances. The scars our caregivers and loved ones carry with them from innocent love watching over us, holding our hand. Left to wonder if this battle will ever be over, will ever be won... the chapters keep coming, the challenges and healing may change but never seem to end. Binding our wounds as tiny cracks appear, as simple as a smell brings on a racing heart and sweaty palms. Desire ...